Chantix

So my doctor has told me I need to quit smoking. He gave me a prescription for Chanix back in October. I picked it up, read about the side effects and thought to myself WTF. Every time I see my doctor he asks me if I started it. I told him am worried about the side effects. Some people have become depressed, easily agitated, suicidal, and the list goes on. He wanted me to try. I started taking it on 1/17/2012. Now for the first week you smoke as much as you want while taking it. The purpose right now is to let it build up in your system. When you start the second week you are supposed to stop smoking. This is where I am at right now. I still feel the need to smoke. Not as often, but I still do. Thursday and Friday I only had four cigarettes, which is cutting back for me. Today so far I have had none. I want one and I will have one. Just trying to make it on my terms. I think the fact that I do not want to quit is why it is not working the way it should. Some people who have written reviews on it said they smoked for the first month.

My main problem is I do not know what to do with myself. I have become more fidgety. I have done two needle points in the past two days. I am trying to keep myself busy, but all I want to do is go sit on the porch or eat. Right now I need to be working on a paper for school, but I am not. I am writing about how much I like to smoke. Advice? Not that anyone is reading my blog yet...